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A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.”Why do we have to learn this stuff?” the frustrated student blurted out.”To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”The professor stared at the student without saying a word. “Physics saves lives,” he finally continued, “because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.”

There are several different kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be differentiated by the following method:General Practitioners know nothing and do little.Surgeons know little and do everything.Internists know everything and do nothing.Pathologists know everything and can do everything, but it’s usually too late.

Pete was sitting at home one evening when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to see a 6-foot-tall cockroach standing on his doorstep. The cockroach punched Pete between the eyes and scampered off.The next evening, Pete was sitting at home wen the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet again. This time, he hit Pete in the stomach and karate chopped him on the back before running away.The third evening, Pete as again sitting at home when he heard the doorbell. He answered the door and for the third time the cockroach was there. It leapt at him and managed to stab him several times before running off.The gravely injured Pete was barely able to crawl to the telephone and summon an ambulance. He was rushed to intensive care, where they saved his life.The next morning, the doctor was doing his rounds. He stopped by Pete’s hospital room and asked him what happened. Pete explained about the 6-foot-tall cockroach’s attacks, culminating in the near-fatal stabbing.The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment and said, “Yes, there’s a nasty bug going around!”

A well known, rich business man’s wife broke her hip. The business man got the best orthopedic surgeon in town to do the operation, which consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it.The operation went smoothly, and the doctor sent the business man a bill for $5,000 for his services. The business man, outraged at the high price, sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor responded to the letter with the following:1 Screw: $1.00Knowing how to put it in: $4,999Total: $5,000The business man never argued.

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past. The blonde looked a the doctor, smiled seductively, and murmured in a very sexy voice, “Hi there handsome. How ya doing?”She then wiggled her backside and walked off.”Who was that?” demanded the doctor’s wife.”Er- just a woman I met professionally.” stammered the doctor.”Oh yeah?” his wife snarled. “In whose profession? Yours or hers?”

The doctor took Dan into the room and said, “Dan, I have some good news and some bad news.”"Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess,” Dan replied.”They’re going to name a disease after you.”

Then there

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, “Congratulations sir, you

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don

An elderly woman went into the doctor