Archive for the ‘Blonds’ Category

A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life.While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to get his sheep across the road. She stopped her car and waved the farmer across, thinking this would be her first good deed.After the sheep had all crossed, the blonde said to the farmer, “your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many there are, could I have one.”The farmer thought it impossible and told the blonde it was okay.”637″, said the blonde.The farmer was amazed that the blonde had guessed the exact number, but lived up to his bargain.”I’ll take that feisty one over there”, said the blonde.Then the farmer said to the blonde, “Okay, now if I guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?

51 DAYS

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

51 DAYSA bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door burstsopen and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to th bar, order fivebottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at alarge table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begintoasting and chanting, “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Soon, three more blondesarrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. “51 days, 51 days, 51days!” Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raisingthe roof. “51 days, 51 days, 51 days!” Finally, the tenth blonde comes in witha picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in themiddle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing aroundthe table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting “51 days, 51 days, 51days!”The bartender can’t contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to thetable. There in the center is a beautifully framed child’s puzzle of theCookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asksone of the blondes, “What’s all the chanting and celebration about?The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, “Everyone thinks that blondesare dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight.Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. . .the side ofthe box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days ! “

What is the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use the phone. A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.

What do you call a blonde with white eyes?

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

What do you call a blonde with white eyes?full up……Sent by Rob

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

Q. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?A. It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!Judi: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.

The complaint letter from Judi

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

The complaint letter from Judi:We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side.We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blond jokes and every so often a red head joke. If we don’t get our way we will not date anybody that ain’t blond and we will make up jokes about you and we will laff. Sined by the blonds at the ofise (sine with a penseel so you can erace it if you make a mistake)

Blondes dumb?!?!?

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

Blondes dumb?!?!? After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with ablonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some foodto replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milkand right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still prettyhot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blondewalks in and says, “Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those.”

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette saidthat her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him “Headand Shoulders” and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,”How do you give shoulders?”

A blond at a party was telling her friend…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

A blond at a party was telling her friend thatshe was off men for life. “They lie, they cheatand they’re just no good. From now on when I wantsex, I’m going to use my vibrator”"So, what when the batteries run out?” asked her friend”I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.”