A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, “shut up…you’re next!”
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t someone just say so?” Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”
Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?A: Butter is difficult to spread.
Whats a blonde’s favorite surgery?A Slipodictomy.
A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor puts his stethoscope up to the girl’s chest and says, ‘Big breaths…’ The girl replies, ‘Yeth and I’m not even thixteen.’
Why don’t Blondes make good cattle herders.Because they can never keep two calves together.
A blond at a party was telling her friend thatshe was off men for life. “They lie, they cheatand they’re just no good. From now on when I wantsex, I’m going to use my vibrator”"So, what when the batteries run out?” asked her friend”I’ll just fake an orgasm like always.”
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette saidthat her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him “Headand Shoulders” and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,”How do you give shoulders?”
Blondes dumb?!?!? After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with ablonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some foodto replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milkand right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still prettyhot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blondewalks in and says, “Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those.”